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Friday, March 11, 2011

Thinking about SkyMall

I have developed a little bit of a fascination for SkyMall.  The first time I heard about it was during a marathon of Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica.  (Were you crushed like me that they didn't make it?)  Nick bought Jessica a jewelry cleaner that she had seen in the SkyMall catalog.  She was so excited about it that for a moment there she didn't notice the tennis bracelet inside.  Seriously.  Why didn't they make it? And another thing...why is it called a tennis bracelet? I know of no other sports that include diamond accessories as part of their apparel.

Anywho, my bestie Shafik and I were flying to Vegas and there in front of us was the SkyMall catalog.  We knew we were going to be hitting some outlet malls as part of our mini vacay and the shopper in me was on high alert!  With my heart palpitating, I flipped through the same catalog for each of our four flights.  I was mesmerized.  Take these gems below as an example.  They were described as Sky Mall Classics.  I would like to meet just one of the multitude of folks who have found themselves on a plane, have flipped through the catalog, seen one of these items and then purchased them therefore turning them into a SkyMall Classic.
Behold the Big Foot Garden Yeti.  If you own this, I want to talk to you.  I want to know when you knew you had to own this piece of art and I want to know where it sits now.  You fascinate me.
I know one person who might own the Zombie of Montclaire Moors.  Steph likes to be spooked but she's one of a kind and I can't see how volume purchasing of this item has made it a classic.

Last but not least is this very comfortable and plush seating accessory.  King Tut's Egyptian Throne sells for  $1000 (plus shipping.) Who has this in their house?

Now I am not being fair to SkyMall.  The kind folks over there also sell products to help make your life easier, more comfortable, more relaxing.
Doesn't this Head and Eye Massager look so inviting and soothing?  I especially like the arch that fits over the skull.  Now imagine yourself slipping this on and falling into a Zen like state while you congratulate yourself for the best $200 you ever spent.
I wonder if this Comfort-U Pillow comes with the two red roses?  Sigh.

These Men's Ballistic Athletic Shoes are supposed to give your feet great stamina during a workout.  That's great but why oh why is there a little sperm like thing along the side of them?  The graphic artist who cooked this up didn't make a mistake.  They come in black and grey too.
And Ladies, SkyMall didn't forget about you...


Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

those sperm shoes are very weird- I think I need a big foot for my garden.

Anna Walker said...

Bahahaha the sky mall is crazy! :)
Sperm shoes?! Ha that's really really great! Who doesn't need sperm shoes?!
I think it's creepy how they have the buried alive people!

Keep On S'myelin! said...

You just reminded me, I forgot my roses downstairs. Can't go to sleep without them. Night!

Tima said...

The zombie would be great for Halloween. As for the sperm shoes......yeah, don't know about that

Phoenix Peacock said...

the story is, a big to-do tennis player was wearing a bracelet the style of what is today called the tennis bracelet, when in it broke during match and they had to stop the game for her to find the bracelet.
it was an overnight hit and everyone had to have a bracelet like the one that created that tennis incident.

Mrs. B said...

I want the pillow!
...and I love sky mall.
Also, I want the zombie for the yard...LOL>

Jorden MrsWhiffin said...

Haha, that catalogue looks amazing! I want a ZOmbie!

Claire Kiefer said...

I'm cracking up over here!!! Sperm shoes and the rose pillow! And the ridiculous statues . . . I think they are using an alternate meaning of "best-selling." Sooooo funny!

Meghan said...

Umm, the huge wall map in my classroom is from the SkyMall mag!

Stephanie said...

haha. That website is hilarious. I could browse through there all day!!
I do like scary stuff, but I don't think I see myself buying something like that! haha.

Marianne bought me a stand up Edward cut out a few years ago for my birthday. Zac wanted to take a nap in my room last Thursday and I guess it was freaking him out, so he put it in my closet. I forgot it was in there and opened the door last night and jumped so high!! haha.

Marz said...

I have flipped through many a SkyMall and have thought these same exact thoughts :) You just said them aloud! haha Your commentary is the absolute best - I could read it all day long! You crack me up :) I often think the same thing when I stay up late watching infomercials. I can't lie, there are times when I actually want to call and order hahaha

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