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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I loved you on purpose...

"I loved you on purpose..."

It has been a long time since I've been moved by a movie.  I've been entertained, excited, amused and satiated but last night I was moved to my core.  I cannot stop thinking about Tyler Perry's film adaptation For Colored Girls.  The movie is rooted in Ntozake Shange's choreopoem (yes, I had to look that up.)  Shange wrote the piece in 1975 For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf.  The representation of women's stories in this movie is haunting, genuine, heart breaking and uplifting.  I can't even begin to describe all the things that this movie is.   I wish it was called For Every Girl.    Race plays a huge part in the movie but at the end of it, I intensely felt my social location as woman.  This is a film for every single woman out there.


The most impactful moment in the movie for me (and this movie is filled to the brim with them) was the poem recited by the character Joanna (Jo)/The Lady in Red  She was portrayed by Janet Jackson.  Joanna is materially successful, hard, unaccessible and superior minded.  There is a masculine air about Joanna which you see in her fashion, some of her mannerisms and some what in the way she relates to other women. Joanna discovers her second husband is gay.  In sleeping with other men outside of their marriage he's given her HIV.   She says,

one thing i don’t need
is any more apologies
i got sorry greetin me at my front door
you can keep yrs
i don’t know what to do wit em
they dont open doors
or bring the sun back
they dont make me happy
or get a mornin paper
didnt nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars
cuz a sorry
i am simply tired
of collectin
i didnt know
i was so important toyou
i’m gonna haveta throw some away
i cant get to the clothes in my closet
for alla the sorries
i’m gonna tack a sign to my door
leave a message by the phone
‘if you called
to say yr sorry
call somebody
else
i dont use em anymore’
i let sorry/ didnt meanta/ & how could i know about that
take a walk down a dark & musty street in brooklyn
i’m gonna do exactly what i want to
& i wont be sorry for none of it
letta sorry soothe yr soul/ i’m gonna soothe mine
you were always inconsistent
doin somethin & then bein sorry
beatin my heart to death
talkin bout you sorry
well
i will not call
i’m not goin to be nice
i will raise my voice
& scream & holler
& break things & race the engine
& tell all yr secrets bout yrself to yr face
& i will list in detail everyone of my wonderful lovers
& their ways
i will play oliver lake
loud
& i wont be sorry for none of it
i loved you on purpose
i was open on purpose
i still crave vulnerability & close talk
& i’m not even sorry bout you bein sorry
you can carry all the guilt & grime ya wanna
just dont give it to me
i cant use another sorry
next time
you should admit
you’re mean/ low-down/ triflin/ & no count straight out
steada bein sorry alla the time
enjoy bein yrself

8 comments:

Megan said...

Oh my gosh I really want to see this now I wonder where I will be able to find it, it doesnt seem very mainstream. I will let you know what I think.

Claire Kiefer said...

I'm not even a movie person, and you've totally convinced me to watch this movie. Thank you, Faiza!

Claire Kiefer said...

(I have read the "choreopoem," though).

Stephanie said...

Gonna have to check this one out!!

cerebral e said...

I'm going to check it out too.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

I haven't heard of it but will check it out based on your recommendations.

Marz said...

Tyler Perry is amazing. I love every single one of his movies. I felt exactly the same way you did watching this movie. Janet Jackson is a really powerful actress. She also had an amazing performance in "Why Did I Get Married?" 1 & 2. Did you ever watch "Precious"? Talk about another movie that haunted and moved me.

Salim Kanji Blog said...

You write better than the pro-review(ers). You know I hardly watch movies however, I am gonna check this one out!
Love you
Dad

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